My 7 year old daughter giggles her little heart out when she thinks about her mom and dad kissing. Somewhere along the way she learned the word "sexy". She often wonders if her dad and I have sexy? Do the people on TV have sexy when they kiss? What IS sexy?
I tell her sexy is like a grownup word for pretty. She asks if she is sexy. NO - ABSOLUTELY NOT, YOUNG LADY! You are forbidden from sexy until you are out of this house!
Explaining sex to your kids is a touchy thing. My oldest walked in on us when he was about 5. He has not forgotten that [scary] experience. Neither have I. Since then, he has puzzled together a limited understanding of what sex is. Last year he and a friend googled "big boobs" - he was 8. We sat him down and talked to him about viruses and trojans. You never know what those internet sites will pass to your computer! I DO think it's about time to talk to him about human viruses and Trojans, though. Another time we passed our local strip club and he asked what it was. I told him it is a place where girls dance without their clothes on, and though that may sound appealing, it is not. So there.
I just don't like to lie to my kids. Besides, I am a bad on-the-spot storyteller. I am not one of those mom's that makes up words for their children's body parts and functions. It's penis or vagina, people. Boobs, breasts, or tits. Butt or Booty. That is the vocab you'll hear in this house. So if they ask, I tell. Without making it sound too appealing, of course.
I don't have a lot of inhibitions in the honest about sex category. However, I am a little freakish about shutting and locking the door. Even if the kids are gone. That wide open bedroom door just seems to scream - come look at us!! It's one thing to talk about sex, another thing to be a live demonstration. Yes, they know what goes on behind the doors - or rather, they have some idea. Sometimes they sit and wait for us to open the door. My daughter giggles and asks "were you being sexy together?"
I respond "Yep. So, what should we do today?" I mean, is there a better way?
5 comments:
Interesting post.
We have a very clinical description about sex in our house. Well, our very livlihood revolves around reproduction, so its a common dinner conversation in our house. In fact, this past spring, little D artificially inseminated 2 of our mares! The photos of him doing his veterinary work shocked my family members who all instantly emailed me with questions about how much he knows/understands about reproduction.
He knows it all.
When you sell semen and make embryos in the lab, it has a more scientific spin than the whole 'sexy' thing. Around here, its science.
I guess with three, its 3 times more likely to have someone walk in on you, huh!? I'd lock the door too-
Your calm and straightforward explanation is, in my opinion, the only way to go. There may be gaps of knowledge that they are still too young for, or don't need to know but all in good time... and as long as you've made it an approachable and open subject, all the better!
I'm the same way, minus the word "tits". [Choke] The kids really haven't clued in yet. Josie has not asked about sex yet. Nothing. I taught Montana about it on his birthday and he did not ask for more.
If they asked if that's what were were doing, I'd probably say yes. But usually, they're sleeping.
Sorry, I should explain "tits" further. It's not something I say to the kids. But I do say it. Really, I don't use any other words with anyone besides those listed. I don't think - unless I have had too many to drink or something??
So the point about tits was that it comes out of my mouth on occassion, but I never say, "Hey kid, your head is pushing too hard on my tit." Ewwwww... :)
And - I don't like night time sex (too tired), and kids wake up really early, so usually we have to lock the door.
we haven't had the sex talk yet...rather candid descriptions on child birth but getting the baby in mom hasn't been asked yet...i'm sure this year Z will be introduced to all the verbage from her health class. Craig calls me sexy all the time in front of the girlies...Z has been called sexy by a boy at school (craig puffed his chest out but geesh this boy was only six at the time). as for having sex...well, that just doesn't happen unless all the girls are asleep...period. if we happen to be having a little fun and i hear the baby on the monitor, the fun ends...too distracting!
anyhoo, i'm sure the sex talk will be just around the corner...i'm mean golly, Z was just a baby yesterday and today she's 8!!! love ya K! xoxo
I know, I kept thinking they are too young. Then all the sudden they are nine and googling "big boobs". And the older ones share with the younger ones, so the younger ones know sooner.
It's tough. We have talked about body changes with the 9 year old. And a little about sex. Plus the live demonstration. That should do it, right? No, we need to get to it with him.
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