I truly believe that Zen (or Peace) is achieved internally. You choose to be in a state of Zen or you don't. We are overloaded with rules on how to interact with people so as not to offend. Or, we react negatively to others because we are told that we are supposed to be offended. Have you ever paused (after you've reacted) to wonder why you reacted so strongly? What if how peaceful you feel is influenced by how you react to life's crazy little moments, and not because the crazy little moments exist?
A few years ago, I went to the mall to pick out a new wedding band (mine had vanished). I was in a good mood. I was by myself, picking out expensive jewelry. REALLY good mood. 3 hours later, despite my inablility to make a decision, I maintained my good attitude. The people working with me were very patient. I joked, I laughed, I almost cried (when it hit me what I had lost: grandma's diamonds). But I had fun.
I was leaving the mall when I came to an escalator that wasn't working. In the middle of the escalator were two teenage boys playing around and looking over the side. I started a little "escalator jog" up the middle, between them. I was wearing jogging pants, so I thought I would put them to use.
When I got to them I said "Did you guys stop this thing?" with a smile on my face. One of them answered "Naw" and the other looked at me and made a Pffffff sound and said "What's yo name?" to which I answered "Oh, I am too old for you" as I jogged up past them. I thought it was over. The banter. But No, he replies "But yo ass ain't".....
Mind starts racing... Huh?..... I should turn around and say something about respecting the ladies. Wait, am I really offended?....Nope, I guess not enough - just keep going.... Still in a good mood.
I called Kevin to apologize for being so late and I told him the story. When I got to the "punch line" I started to crack up. I have laughed every time I have told this story. What is so funny? The comments were unexpected, but mostly that my 30 year old booty appealed to a random high school boy! HA! Wow! When someone compliments me, even in an offhand way, it's my choice to accept it and say thank you, or not and get offended.
I recently had a freind (woman) say "At the risk of sounding queer, I want to tell you how pretty I think you are". I accepted her compliment. Later, I wondered why can't we compliment people without starting a sentence "at the risk of sounding queer, sexist, ageist, etc"? And why can't we also accept a compliment without explaining it away to them or to ourselves? It's hard to do. I wanted to tell her "Oh, no you are so silly", but instead I just said "thanks". It wasn't a game. It was a genuine compliment and a peaceful acceptance.
I know that the peace I feel or don't feel is my decision. I am at peace with some cellulite and an aging body. BUT especially when it is complimented. So the feminist in me, who would have turned around and taught the boys a lesson, was not in that evening. I was happy, peaceful and light hearted and so I shut down the "reactor" in my head and kept walking. That boy certainly didn't earn my respect, and that was HIS choice. My choice was to move on. My choice was to smile and take the compliment, however offhanded it was.
There is a great song from my youth that I am proud to say still applied to ME that night:
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up front
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring--Sir Mix-a-Lot
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label feminism. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
I'm Spiritual But Not Religious & Nature is My Church!
How do you explain your spiritual beliefs to people that you know? I don't know the best way, so I am asking you. You see, HOW you choose to believe in God is your business, not mine. I know many people don't feel this way about how I believe in God. So I ask again, how do I explain in a concise matter the layers upon layers of beliefs that I have accumulated? Preferably, without starting a war or receiving pity in statements like "God can wait for you; I am worried about your soul; or I'll pray for you"?
I can't do it quickly, you see, and really let you know me. This post will be the first of many about spirituality. I am primarily a student of Life, God, Love. This is what I do and who I am. I need a one-liner. It must walk the line of being open to me and my intuition but just as open to you and yours.
With religion I felt that my intuition (or soul-consciousness) was being stifled to make way for man-made doctrine. As a child, I knew God innately and intimately. I saw Her when I looked out over my lake, in the trees that changed color in the fall, the small reptiles that were abundant out our front door. I felt Him support me when I swam underwater, felt alone or scared, or misunderstood. God was everywhere and loved everything and everyone, I always knew this (always is not an exaggeration :) ).
I also knew at a young age that my parents didn't care for organized religion, but I never knew WHY. Religion appealed to me because I wanted to know and talk more about God. I began to see and feel church in the every day living. When I needed God I went outside (prayer?). I saw how good my "unsaved" mom was to other people - the poor, the lame, those that could not do for themselves (service?). I felt warmness and love during holidays, when my mom entertained (which was often) and when she dropped everything for her friends in need (tradition? & fellowship?). The only thing I lacked was knowledge. I like books. I wanted to learn more about God. Who is this "man"? Who is Jesus?
I married a wonderful man raised in a church who wanted me to go with him on random Sundays in college and eventually weekly when we moved back home. I said yes to attending church. I supposed most people would be welcoming but by the time I was older I was quite aware and weary of the hypocrisy of many Christians. The closest I got to Atheism ever was a feminist rant and protest against the Maleness of God.
Attending Kevin's home church I began to know so many wonderful people. I learned to sing the songs by heart and eventually say most of the communion liturgy without looking. I also noticed my core beliefs changing about issues that I had previously been open minded about. For instance; I began to believe that a person HAS to accept Jesus to go to Heaven; living without money is more spiritual than living with money; and gay people should not get married but could still have a civil union (this is still pretty liberal, I understand, but it wasn't me - I could feel my mind closing).
Wonderfully, my mind opened in other areas it was closed. I learned about the group of people that refer to themselves as Christian. They are beautiful, fabulous people, really. They love you immediately - for being in church and being a part of their family. Guess what? I amazingly learned they are not the only hypocrites in the world! We all are or can be - and it was eye opening to see this from the "other side". They support you and take care of you when ups and downs in life happen. I am still friends with many from my church and I do feel loved by them, even now. Thanks to a member at our church, Kevin did not go jobless for long after his layoff.
Here is where I get a little skeptical, though. I don't attribute these wonderful people and relationships to CHURCH. No, the church was the building and the community that I met them in. I attribute our friendships and the love and support to God. Any religion, any denomination, any group of people can come together in common good and love their fellow human beings. God brought me to this specific church, these people, and their goodness and I am completely greatful for that. For me the details on what each denomination believes, how to say the liturgy, who can and can't go to Heaven are created by the Church, and that is the part that I can't subscribe to.
One time a very religious friend of mine was engaging me in a discussion about the sin of the gay person. I was weary to discuss it, as I am very aware that we all have our own beliefs and no one is usually ready to concede (wonder if that's why weapons get involved? LOL) She said something that struck me then as absolute truth - but she was using it in the anti-gay argument to support her claim that you are not born gay. She said "God does not make mistakes". Little did she know it totally supports my claim that being gay is not a mistake. So no matter what side of an issue you are on I know that God created each of us to be who we are in our fullest potential. If that takes you on a religious path, I am happy for you if you are happy. For me, I have come full circle. On occassion Kevin and I attend a Unity church. We moved from a house on a wonderful street because we found a house surrounded by nature in the city. Same schools, same distance to Meijer, but with nature out our back door.
I don't always know how to tell people about my "religion" and need a one-liner. Here are a few that meet my needs: My religion is love. It is being the best person I can be and seeing the best in others. It is setting boundaries for myself to give me a chance to thrive - such as saying "no" when it doesn't fit who-i-am. It is smiling to strangers. It is helping those that need help. It is hugging and loving my friends and family. It is providing a warm and loving home for my children and guests. It is giving people a second chance and sometimes a third. It is doing my very best. It is believing that Heaven is NOW not some crowning moment after I have lived in fear and hope that I am good enough. It is knowing that I am good enough. It is seeing myself in you and you in me. It is loving the beauty and magnificance of the earth. This is who we are. Isn't it Divine?
The funny thing, Katie, is that in spite of the euphoria one feels upon entering paradise, cloaked in miracles, surrounded by angels, love, and unimaginable beauty, it gradually becomes all they know, commonplace, ordinary, and then, shockingly... invisible.
Yep, I'm talking about life on earth.
Yippee Kai-Ye,
The Universe
www.tut.com
I can't do it quickly, you see, and really let you know me. This post will be the first of many about spirituality. I am primarily a student of Life, God, Love. This is what I do and who I am. I need a one-liner. It must walk the line of being open to me and my intuition but just as open to you and yours.
With religion I felt that my intuition (or soul-consciousness) was being stifled to make way for man-made doctrine. As a child, I knew God innately and intimately. I saw Her when I looked out over my lake, in the trees that changed color in the fall, the small reptiles that were abundant out our front door. I felt Him support me when I swam underwater, felt alone or scared, or misunderstood. God was everywhere and loved everything and everyone, I always knew this (always is not an exaggeration :) ).
I also knew at a young age that my parents didn't care for organized religion, but I never knew WHY. Religion appealed to me because I wanted to know and talk more about God. I began to see and feel church in the every day living. When I needed God I went outside (prayer?). I saw how good my "unsaved" mom was to other people - the poor, the lame, those that could not do for themselves (service?). I felt warmness and love during holidays, when my mom entertained (which was often) and when she dropped everything for her friends in need (tradition? & fellowship?). The only thing I lacked was knowledge. I like books. I wanted to learn more about God. Who is this "man"? Who is Jesus?
I married a wonderful man raised in a church who wanted me to go with him on random Sundays in college and eventually weekly when we moved back home. I said yes to attending church. I supposed most people would be welcoming but by the time I was older I was quite aware and weary of the hypocrisy of many Christians. The closest I got to Atheism ever was a feminist rant and protest against the Maleness of God.
Attending Kevin's home church I began to know so many wonderful people. I learned to sing the songs by heart and eventually say most of the communion liturgy without looking. I also noticed my core beliefs changing about issues that I had previously been open minded about. For instance; I began to believe that a person HAS to accept Jesus to go to Heaven; living without money is more spiritual than living with money; and gay people should not get married but could still have a civil union (this is still pretty liberal, I understand, but it wasn't me - I could feel my mind closing).
Wonderfully, my mind opened in other areas it was closed. I learned about the group of people that refer to themselves as Christian. They are beautiful, fabulous people, really. They love you immediately - for being in church and being a part of their family. Guess what? I amazingly learned they are not the only hypocrites in the world! We all are or can be - and it was eye opening to see this from the "other side". They support you and take care of you when ups and downs in life happen. I am still friends with many from my church and I do feel loved by them, even now. Thanks to a member at our church, Kevin did not go jobless for long after his layoff.
Here is where I get a little skeptical, though. I don't attribute these wonderful people and relationships to CHURCH. No, the church was the building and the community that I met them in. I attribute our friendships and the love and support to God. Any religion, any denomination, any group of people can come together in common good and love their fellow human beings. God brought me to this specific church, these people, and their goodness and I am completely greatful for that. For me the details on what each denomination believes, how to say the liturgy, who can and can't go to Heaven are created by the Church, and that is the part that I can't subscribe to.
One time a very religious friend of mine was engaging me in a discussion about the sin of the gay person. I was weary to discuss it, as I am very aware that we all have our own beliefs and no one is usually ready to concede (wonder if that's why weapons get involved? LOL) She said something that struck me then as absolute truth - but she was using it in the anti-gay argument to support her claim that you are not born gay. She said "God does not make mistakes". Little did she know it totally supports my claim that being gay is not a mistake. So no matter what side of an issue you are on I know that God created each of us to be who we are in our fullest potential. If that takes you on a religious path, I am happy for you if you are happy. For me, I have come full circle. On occassion Kevin and I attend a Unity church. We moved from a house on a wonderful street because we found a house surrounded by nature in the city. Same schools, same distance to Meijer, but with nature out our back door.
I don't always know how to tell people about my "religion" and need a one-liner. Here are a few that meet my needs: My religion is love. It is being the best person I can be and seeing the best in others. It is setting boundaries for myself to give me a chance to thrive - such as saying "no" when it doesn't fit who-i-am. It is smiling to strangers. It is helping those that need help. It is hugging and loving my friends and family. It is providing a warm and loving home for my children and guests. It is giving people a second chance and sometimes a third. It is doing my very best. It is believing that Heaven is NOW not some crowning moment after I have lived in fear and hope that I am good enough. It is knowing that I am good enough. It is seeing myself in you and you in me. It is loving the beauty and magnificance of the earth. This is who we are. Isn't it Divine?
The funny thing, Katie, is that in spite of the euphoria one feels upon entering paradise, cloaked in miracles, surrounded by angels, love, and unimaginable beauty, it gradually becomes all they know, commonplace, ordinary, and then, shockingly... invisible.
Yep, I'm talking about life on earth.
Yippee Kai-Ye,
The Universe
www.tut.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)