So, on a drive home from a play-date with the daughter of my conservative friends, my seven year old daughter said "Why do I only see McCain signs or Obama signs?" The only time she brings up politics is after playing with this friend, so I was prepared for a discussion.
Me: Well, those are the two choices.
Her: There are only two choices?
Me: Yes. Only two. Pretty weird, huh? That would be like walking into an ice cream store and only being able to order vanilla or ..... I stopped myself. I was headed down the wrong road. Not PC. Not the message I wanted to send. Not coming up with another flavor very fast.
Me: or Strawberry. Just two choices. Or between Chocolate and Strawberry. But just two. That's exactly like our vote. Out of all of the people in our country we choose between two people.
Her: I would vote for chocolate.
Me: (oh, she's smart...) Oh, ya, it's a great flavor, right?
Her: No because of Obama's skin color. I would pick chocolate.
Me: Uh... well, actually I wasn't trying to .... okay. Yep. I would choose chocolate, too. So, you get it right? You could walk into Baskin Robbins and order your choice of 32 flavors. But in the case of an election you get two choices. Chocolate or Vanilla. Not a very good ice cream store, eh?
Her: No. (Now she's bored. Over it. And I'm still thinking.....)
You definitely don't get to choose the ingredients or "mixins" for the perfect candidate, ala Cold Stone Creamery. A well developed, highly successful, equipped with cutting technology, ice cream store with two choices: Vanilla or Chocolate.
Gosh, my girl was onto something.
Showing posts with label she said what?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label she said what?. Show all posts
Friday, October 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Bulk Food = Samples. Yes or No?
Yesterday I told my child to steal. When the words came out of my mouth I realized there is no great way to explain what I meant and the why's and how's of it to a four year old. To ease some of my guilt I figured I would explain it to you. Like a confession. Forgive me friends, for I have sinned.
Our local mega-grocery store has a wonderful bulk food/candy section. There was a time when they passed out suckers to every kid that went through the check-out lane. When that stopped, I began allowing the kids to pick one thing out of the bulk food bins if they could make it through the store without whining, crying or asking for a dozen things. The big reward at the end of the long, boring shopping journey. BUT I did not begin this tradition without checking first. I am, for the most part, a rule follower. You will not find me participating in much that could get me in trouble with the law. So, why do I take a piece of bulk food without paying for it? Because I have asked the store clerks and management a million times (actually more than a dozen) if it is okay to have one piece of bulk candy, per child, while shopping. I have always been told that "yes, it is fine". I have done it in front of store clerks and they don't say anything. I tell you the truth: it was never intended to be sneaky or hidden.
Yesterday, my 4 yr old asked if we could pay for his Golden Coin (chocolate). Sure. That is fine.
So, I took the Golden Coin up to the register as I was paying for my groceries.
I asked the lady clerk if we could pay for the one Golden Coin.
She said "No. You have to buy more. They are measured by cost per pound and one won't weigh enough to be measured." And.... I waited for her to say, "He can just have it."
She did not say anything. 4yr old cried loudly when I said "You can't have it." All the while I am thinking ... c'mon lady just make up a price "25 cents, 1 dollar, give it away..." She obviously didn't know their policy on SHARING one piece of candy. She just stared at me like I was stupid and wrong. Well, maybe they didn't have a policy TO share, but is it out of the realm of her power to make it happen? Let me restate this. I have asked about the bulk candy many times(due to my fear of doing something wrong and getting in trouble). Each time we go to that store we get a piece of candy - so at least once a week. So this not happening was WAY against the grain of normal for my 4yr old. I know, poor him.
When he was crying as we were pushing our groceries out to the car, - minus one Golden Coin - he said "why can't I have my coin?" And I said "Because you asked to pay for it. Next time just take it like we always do." And I realized I just told my son to steal. He doesn't know that his mom has okayed their taking with the powers-that-be. He doesn't understand that sometimes when you try to do the right thing you are met with confusion and no options. He doesn't understand that some people lack the ability or power to be creative or make decisions in their jobs.
And now I don't know if I have been teaching my kids something horrible all along. My kids know that we don't take anything from a store without paying for it. I just considered the bulk food a "sample". I believe my children will grow up to think taking a piece of bulk food is okay, but I don't think that means that they will think taking a bag of bulk food is okay, or taking something else is okay. So, I am not sure what to think about having taught my kids that taking a piece of candy, even with permission, is okay.
Tell me what you think!
Our local mega-grocery store has a wonderful bulk food/candy section. There was a time when they passed out suckers to every kid that went through the check-out lane. When that stopped, I began allowing the kids to pick one thing out of the bulk food bins if they could make it through the store without whining, crying or asking for a dozen things. The big reward at the end of the long, boring shopping journey. BUT I did not begin this tradition without checking first. I am, for the most part, a rule follower. You will not find me participating in much that could get me in trouble with the law. So, why do I take a piece of bulk food without paying for it? Because I have asked the store clerks and management a million times (actually more than a dozen) if it is okay to have one piece of bulk candy, per child, while shopping. I have always been told that "yes, it is fine". I have done it in front of store clerks and they don't say anything. I tell you the truth: it was never intended to be sneaky or hidden.
Yesterday, my 4 yr old asked if we could pay for his Golden Coin (chocolate). Sure. That is fine.
So, I took the Golden Coin up to the register as I was paying for my groceries.
I asked the lady clerk if we could pay for the one Golden Coin.
She said "No. You have to buy more. They are measured by cost per pound and one won't weigh enough to be measured." And.... I waited for her to say, "He can just have it."
She did not say anything. 4yr old cried loudly when I said "You can't have it." All the while I am thinking ... c'mon lady just make up a price "25 cents, 1 dollar, give it away..." She obviously didn't know their policy on SHARING one piece of candy. She just stared at me like I was stupid and wrong. Well, maybe they didn't have a policy TO share, but is it out of the realm of her power to make it happen? Let me restate this. I have asked about the bulk candy many times(due to my fear of doing something wrong and getting in trouble). Each time we go to that store we get a piece of candy - so at least once a week. So this not happening was WAY against the grain of normal for my 4yr old. I know, poor him.
When he was crying as we were pushing our groceries out to the car, - minus one Golden Coin - he said "why can't I have my coin?" And I said "Because you asked to pay for it. Next time just take it like we always do." And I realized I just told my son to steal. He doesn't know that his mom has okayed their taking with the powers-that-be. He doesn't understand that sometimes when you try to do the right thing you are met with confusion and no options. He doesn't understand that some people lack the ability or power to be creative or make decisions in their jobs.
And now I don't know if I have been teaching my kids something horrible all along. My kids know that we don't take anything from a store without paying for it. I just considered the bulk food a "sample". I believe my children will grow up to think taking a piece of bulk food is okay, but I don't think that means that they will think taking a bag of bulk food is okay, or taking something else is okay. So, I am not sure what to think about having taught my kids that taking a piece of candy, even with permission, is okay.
Tell me what you think!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Feminism vs. Stop Taking Life So Seriously
I truly believe that Zen (or Peace) is achieved internally. You choose to be in a state of Zen or you don't. We are overloaded with rules on how to interact with people so as not to offend. Or, we react negatively to others because we are told that we are supposed to be offended. Have you ever paused (after you've reacted) to wonder why you reacted so strongly? What if how peaceful you feel is influenced by how you react to life's crazy little moments, and not because the crazy little moments exist?
A few years ago, I went to the mall to pick out a new wedding band (mine had vanished). I was in a good mood. I was by myself, picking out expensive jewelry. REALLY good mood. 3 hours later, despite my inablility to make a decision, I maintained my good attitude. The people working with me were very patient. I joked, I laughed, I almost cried (when it hit me what I had lost: grandma's diamonds). But I had fun.
I was leaving the mall when I came to an escalator that wasn't working. In the middle of the escalator were two teenage boys playing around and looking over the side. I started a little "escalator jog" up the middle, between them. I was wearing jogging pants, so I thought I would put them to use.
When I got to them I said "Did you guys stop this thing?" with a smile on my face. One of them answered "Naw" and the other looked at me and made a Pffffff sound and said "What's yo name?" to which I answered "Oh, I am too old for you" as I jogged up past them. I thought it was over. The banter. But No, he replies "But yo ass ain't".....
Mind starts racing... Huh?..... I should turn around and say something about respecting the ladies. Wait, am I really offended?....Nope, I guess not enough - just keep going.... Still in a good mood.
I called Kevin to apologize for being so late and I told him the story. When I got to the "punch line" I started to crack up. I have laughed every time I have told this story. What is so funny? The comments were unexpected, but mostly that my 30 year old booty appealed to a random high school boy! HA! Wow! When someone compliments me, even in an offhand way, it's my choice to accept it and say thank you, or not and get offended.
I recently had a freind (woman) say "At the risk of sounding queer, I want to tell you how pretty I think you are". I accepted her compliment. Later, I wondered why can't we compliment people without starting a sentence "at the risk of sounding queer, sexist, ageist, etc"? And why can't we also accept a compliment without explaining it away to them or to ourselves? It's hard to do. I wanted to tell her "Oh, no you are so silly", but instead I just said "thanks". It wasn't a game. It was a genuine compliment and a peaceful acceptance.
I know that the peace I feel or don't feel is my decision. I am at peace with some cellulite and an aging body. BUT especially when it is complimented. So the feminist in me, who would have turned around and taught the boys a lesson, was not in that evening. I was happy, peaceful and light hearted and so I shut down the "reactor" in my head and kept walking. That boy certainly didn't earn my respect, and that was HIS choice. My choice was to move on. My choice was to smile and take the compliment, however offhanded it was.
There is a great song from my youth that I am proud to say still applied to ME that night:
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up front
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring--Sir Mix-a-Lot
A few years ago, I went to the mall to pick out a new wedding band (mine had vanished). I was in a good mood. I was by myself, picking out expensive jewelry. REALLY good mood. 3 hours later, despite my inablility to make a decision, I maintained my good attitude. The people working with me were very patient. I joked, I laughed, I almost cried (when it hit me what I had lost: grandma's diamonds). But I had fun.
I was leaving the mall when I came to an escalator that wasn't working. In the middle of the escalator were two teenage boys playing around and looking over the side. I started a little "escalator jog" up the middle, between them. I was wearing jogging pants, so I thought I would put them to use.
When I got to them I said "Did you guys stop this thing?" with a smile on my face. One of them answered "Naw" and the other looked at me and made a Pffffff sound and said "What's yo name?" to which I answered "Oh, I am too old for you" as I jogged up past them. I thought it was over. The banter. But No, he replies "But yo ass ain't".....
Mind starts racing... Huh?..... I should turn around and say something about respecting the ladies. Wait, am I really offended?....Nope, I guess not enough - just keep going.... Still in a good mood.
I called Kevin to apologize for being so late and I told him the story. When I got to the "punch line" I started to crack up. I have laughed every time I have told this story. What is so funny? The comments were unexpected, but mostly that my 30 year old booty appealed to a random high school boy! HA! Wow! When someone compliments me, even in an offhand way, it's my choice to accept it and say thank you, or not and get offended.
I recently had a freind (woman) say "At the risk of sounding queer, I want to tell you how pretty I think you are". I accepted her compliment. Later, I wondered why can't we compliment people without starting a sentence "at the risk of sounding queer, sexist, ageist, etc"? And why can't we also accept a compliment without explaining it away to them or to ourselves? It's hard to do. I wanted to tell her "Oh, no you are so silly", but instead I just said "thanks". It wasn't a game. It was a genuine compliment and a peaceful acceptance.
I know that the peace I feel or don't feel is my decision. I am at peace with some cellulite and an aging body. BUT especially when it is complimented. So the feminist in me, who would have turned around and taught the boys a lesson, was not in that evening. I was happy, peaceful and light hearted and so I shut down the "reactor" in my head and kept walking. That boy certainly didn't earn my respect, and that was HIS choice. My choice was to move on. My choice was to smile and take the compliment, however offhanded it was.
There is a great song from my youth that I am proud to say still applied to ME that night:
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up front
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring--Sir Mix-a-Lot
Thursday, August 21, 2008
She Talks To Angels
Have you ever heard voices? Or had visions? Do you communicate with God, Angels, or dead people? Do they communicate back?
When I was a kid I remember hearing voices in my head. I never told anyone about them. They seemed a little creepy - calling my name - seeking my attention. I figured the best that could come of it would be a trip to Dr. PsychO. I have always had intimate discussions with God. Mostly one way. I loved the book "Are you There God, It's Me Margaret?" just for the simple fact that another child was talking to God - often. When I talked to God, I didn't really list off my wishes, I left those for Santa. I really just had questions and wonders.
My teenage years consisted of just getting through. As did college. I pushed through college in 3 1/2 years. Not because I am a super-overachiever or because I am super smart. I just figured I better get it done with quick, before I quit. I like to quit. I might decide one day just to quit this blog - so be ready. I like to say "I like change" instead of "I quit". Anyways, I am rambling. So, I got through college and LIFE opened up to me. An inifinite amount of choices and opportunities to be ME.
Over the last five years I have taken a strong interest in personal development. I sought answers to the questions I had as a child. I became immersed in all things spiritual, mostly books and youtube videos by nationally known authors. You can find most of their works in the New Age section. A few New Age authors, with many bestsellers, have the privlege of residing in the Self Improvement section. I have read Wayne Dyer, Don Miguel Ruiz, Byron Katie, Doreen Virtue, Jane Roberts, Esther and Jerry Hicks (Abraham), Eckhart Tolle, Debbie Ford, Neale Donald Walsch, etc. As I rode out my life journey many other things began to happen to lead me in new directions.
I had a friend introduce me to Shamanic Journeying to drum music. During my first time I had a very strong vision about a friend's child that was going through some things. I shared the vision with my friend in hopes that it would help.
A good friend's deceased dad (whom I have never met) started "talking" to me during a meditation. When I silently expressed my disbelief that HE was really talking, he gave me a obscure piece of info to pass on. Later it was confirmed accurate by my friend's mom. I also had this feeling of her dad's personality from my meeting with him and shared it with her. She said it sounded accurate.
I regularly ask Angels and Spirit Guides to help me and guide me. I usually get pretty clear advice if I am open and willing to listen.
Last spring, while Googling something specific, I came across Steve Pavlina's website. Evidently, he is the Online Blog Guru for all things personal development. I was stunned that I had never heard of him before. I spend a lot of time on the internet researching personal development. Then I noticed he was promoting his wife's blog, Erin Pavlina. Erin writes about her experiences as an inutitive. I was in love with their togetherness. Two things I was passionate about under ONE roof. I can't imagine what it's like to be at their dinner table.
I booked an appointment with Erin and had a reading. I found her to be spot-on. She wasn't predicting my future, she was giving me guidance (from my guides) on where I could be heading. Everything she relayed to me I had heard from my own intuition, before my reading. However, my interpretations were a mumble-jumble mess of should's and should not's. She clearly stated the could's. Things I could do, if I chose to. She cleared my imaginary windshield so I could see where I was going.
Today I emailed her another thank you. I wish I could personally thank all of the people that been serendipitously placed in my life to help guide me back to myself.
Part of my feeling different has to do with my life-long quest to know God. To know the reality of life beyond this life. Do I think I have all of the answers? No. Do I have some ideas? Definitely. Do I want to know more? Sure. Everyone I come into contact with is placed in my life to be my teacher. I know this. Life is the classroom for the Soul.
Special thanks to some of my favorite teachers:
My great friend KARK (female version) who has taught me so much about being religious and spiritual!
My mom who taught me that it's not what you say but what you do that matters.
My husband who loves me unconditionally (almost - except for the short hair, tattoo and drag on a cigarette that I take once a year)
My MIL who taught me to be honest and set boundaries.
Countless friends who share different beliefs than me but have the courage to love me anyway!
My dad and my grandpa M. Two beautiful, kind men that made me feel captivating before I knew what captivating was.
My kids for teaching me that I still have a lot to learn!
When I was a kid I remember hearing voices in my head. I never told anyone about them. They seemed a little creepy - calling my name - seeking my attention. I figured the best that could come of it would be a trip to Dr. PsychO. I have always had intimate discussions with God. Mostly one way. I loved the book "Are you There God, It's Me Margaret?" just for the simple fact that another child was talking to God - often. When I talked to God, I didn't really list off my wishes, I left those for Santa. I really just had questions and wonders.
My teenage years consisted of just getting through. As did college. I pushed through college in 3 1/2 years. Not because I am a super-overachiever or because I am super smart. I just figured I better get it done with quick, before I quit. I like to quit. I might decide one day just to quit this blog - so be ready. I like to say "I like change" instead of "I quit". Anyways, I am rambling. So, I got through college and LIFE opened up to me. An inifinite amount of choices and opportunities to be ME.
Over the last five years I have taken a strong interest in personal development. I sought answers to the questions I had as a child. I became immersed in all things spiritual, mostly books and youtube videos by nationally known authors. You can find most of their works in the New Age section. A few New Age authors, with many bestsellers, have the privlege of residing in the Self Improvement section. I have read Wayne Dyer, Don Miguel Ruiz, Byron Katie, Doreen Virtue, Jane Roberts, Esther and Jerry Hicks (Abraham), Eckhart Tolle, Debbie Ford, Neale Donald Walsch, etc. As I rode out my life journey many other things began to happen to lead me in new directions.
I had a friend introduce me to Shamanic Journeying to drum music. During my first time I had a very strong vision about a friend's child that was going through some things. I shared the vision with my friend in hopes that it would help.
A good friend's deceased dad (whom I have never met) started "talking" to me during a meditation. When I silently expressed my disbelief that HE was really talking, he gave me a obscure piece of info to pass on. Later it was confirmed accurate by my friend's mom. I also had this feeling of her dad's personality from my meeting with him and shared it with her. She said it sounded accurate.
I regularly ask Angels and Spirit Guides to help me and guide me. I usually get pretty clear advice if I am open and willing to listen.
Last spring, while Googling something specific, I came across Steve Pavlina's website. Evidently, he is the Online Blog Guru for all things personal development. I was stunned that I had never heard of him before. I spend a lot of time on the internet researching personal development. Then I noticed he was promoting his wife's blog, Erin Pavlina. Erin writes about her experiences as an inutitive. I was in love with their togetherness. Two things I was passionate about under ONE roof. I can't imagine what it's like to be at their dinner table.
I booked an appointment with Erin and had a reading. I found her to be spot-on. She wasn't predicting my future, she was giving me guidance (from my guides) on where I could be heading. Everything she relayed to me I had heard from my own intuition, before my reading. However, my interpretations were a mumble-jumble mess of should's and should not's. She clearly stated the could's. Things I could do, if I chose to. She cleared my imaginary windshield so I could see where I was going.
Today I emailed her another thank you. I wish I could personally thank all of the people that been serendipitously placed in my life to help guide me back to myself.
Part of my feeling different has to do with my life-long quest to know God. To know the reality of life beyond this life. Do I think I have all of the answers? No. Do I have some ideas? Definitely. Do I want to know more? Sure. Everyone I come into contact with is placed in my life to be my teacher. I know this. Life is the classroom for the Soul.
Special thanks to some of my favorite teachers:
My great friend KARK (female version) who has taught me so much about being religious and spiritual!
My mom who taught me that it's not what you say but what you do that matters.
My husband who loves me unconditionally (almost - except for the short hair, tattoo and drag on a cigarette that I take once a year)
My MIL who taught me to be honest and set boundaries.
Countless friends who share different beliefs than me but have the courage to love me anyway!
My dad and my grandpa M. Two beautiful, kind men that made me feel captivating before I knew what captivating was.
My kids for teaching me that I still have a lot to learn!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)