Zack & Miri and Their Lessons for a Good Marriage

Dearest Summer & Ty,

You have officially been married 4 days now and WOW! You have survived it thus far. Happily, I assume. Kevin and I really appreciated witnessing your union and being a part of your reception. Thank you for the invite. Also, I appreciate being a witness to the spring-like embrace of fresh love. Before kids, before passion ebbs and flows, before trying to define yourself as a couple then individual then couple again. Before the work of marriage we celebrate the union. And, being married almost 12 years, I now know why a couple has an even bigger celebration if they make it to their Golden Anniversary. The commitment, the allowing, the forgiving, the patience and the joy it takes to get there is worth a party.

If you have seen the movie, you do know that Zack & Miri started as friends. Yet, from the beginning they acted more like a seasoned married couple. There were many important lessons from Zack & Miri that will aid you on the journey of your marriage:

• Laugh at the jokes and the silly choices of your partner.
  
• Talk openly about what satisfies you in the bedroom. Don't talk to your best friend about it if you haven't talked to your spouse. Best not to blog about it either.
• Tell your woman she looks "pretty f-in' hot" in her dress. Do it!
  
• Ty, offer to wash Summer's hair, scrub her back, paint her toenails, etc. Take care of your woman.
  
• Mr. Fix-it is Sexy. So is Mrs. Fix-it.
  
• Don't listen to the marriage nay-sayers. They are everywhere. But they don't know what you two have. And misery always loves company.
• Be partners - you are on the same team. Run your marriage like a business. You're in the business of LOVE!
• Remember romance rocks! It keeps the relationship fresh and exciting.
  
• Boys have to have sex. (Summer, this is where you get to take care of Ty.)
  
• And girls have to talk about emotions.
• Surround yourselves with good friends.
  
• Dance in the living room.
• Don't expect Ty to understand what you want if you don't tell him, Summer. Boys don't think. Like girls.
• Remember you married someone that you want to grow with. Expect to grow & change and be less like the people you were when you met. And yet, inherently the same.
  
• Letting grudges go is essential to personal and marital happiness.
  
• Marriage is an adventure of unknowns, not a commitment of constants.

Zack & Miri Make a Porno was really a love story. It was! The love was hidden behind the swearing, the nudity, the overused C word and the moaning. I hope all of the love and happiness in the world is funneled into your marriage. If you ever find yourself wondering who the hell you married and why, don't sweat it! We all have looked at our spouse and seen an alien. It is an adventure though. And that specific adventure we call "Find my abducted spouse. An alien has taken over." That is it. Your adventure awaits!

With Respect & Admiration,

Katie & Kevin

(He did not write a word. But I am used to that. I still sign his name on things. See how thoughtful that is?)