Love in the Clutches of Chaos and Terror

This is a note to myself. I needed an outlet after yesterday's pain and confusion.

Thinking of Boston. The only thing I could think to do was accept the invitation I saw on FB to send Reiki energy to the victims and their families, and then to all that have experienced a sense of fear and trauma from the event.

We will each have different reactions to trauma. I tend to recognize it, accept it and ask what I can do to change it. On a personal level, from this chair at my desk at work, in Michigan, how can I be of service? I want to be love. I want to be fearless. I want to model those qualities for my children as they grow up in this chaotic world. I know that when my mind turns to fear (and it has), the terrorists win. When I have thoughts of violence and retribution, I am thinking like a terrorist. Mostly, I can't help but feel overwhelmed because I am NOT surprised by these events. We live in a country that is at war, internally and externally. There is a worldwide pervasive need to be right and to prove others wrong.

There are bullies in our schools, bullies in politics, adults that bully, and there are bullies with weapons and bombs. There are bullies that claim to be on the side of "good", calling the wrong-doers "maggots" or "sociopaths". We can call the bullies dark and talk about how "light" we are, or call them bad and thank God for the good people. We claim an "us" and a "them" and the chaos continues. Darkness is not all or nothing, it exists in all of humanity, and in each one of us. We talk about bad people and bad things while we separate ourselves out from that kind of bad, as if badness can be ranked. If you make a bad choice, it's a bad choice no matter what society deems most punishable, or religion claims as most sinful. A bully on the playground is a terrorist to the child he/she is bullying. A parent yelling and spanking their child is a terrorist to that child. A spouse calling their partner names is terrorizing him/her. Terror exists in abundance on every level. I'm guilty of it. I get angry, confused and defensive.

While it was not MY legs that were blown off, or MY son that died, it was OUR legs and OUR son. To heal this world, we must acknowledge our oneness. We must face our anger, fears and hatred so we can be more compassionate with others. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of innocent people that are experiencing trauma in Boston because of a person or group's choices, beliefs and need to defend them. I know what I can do to contribute to the healing. I must look at my feelings of separateness, anger and fear and ask - do I help create confusion in the world or eliminate it? I have to open my eyes, heart and mind to other ways of living and being in this world. I must love, and see equal, all of my sisters and brothers - the Republicans, the Democrats, the gays, the Westboro Baptist churchgoers, the rich, the poor, the helpers and the terrorists.

A week before Monday's bombings in Boston, American's dropped a bomb in Afghanistan that killed six children working in a field. There are many reasons that cause a person or nation to flex that mighty muscle of power. How do we stop it?

I don't know the global answer. I just know that I can choose to opt-out of vilifying others and look for opportunities to offer compassion, peace and love. Love is what heals.


"How to defeat terrorism? Don't be terrorized. Don't let fear rule your life. Even if you are scared.” - Salman Rushdie