I have a blank canvas. It's white. I detest white. Okay, not really detest. White can be exquisite and beautiful, especially in contrast to what is normally green and brown. Snowy days are gorgeous. Ivory soap is pretty. White hair can be stunning. What really bothers me about white is that without vigilance and constant attention, at some point, somehow, Life is going to come along and mess it up. White is impossible to maintain.
White is said to represent purity, innocence and cleanliness (from Wikipedia). Is that why I have a problem with it? Let me dissect purity. True purity is a virtue that likely no one can claim fully. The white wedding dress is an easy example. Whether or not you had sex before marriage is irrelevant. You probably had impure thoughts, at least. If wedding dresses could give away secrets, I wonder how many dresses would be completely white...... (still wondering)....... Mine? Not red or black, thank you very much. I think at least a spot of pink on the hem for even the purist of the pure. Having a name that means "pure" has always made me chuckle. I didn't even try to live up to that one ..... [grin] .....
I like the idea of purity, innocence and cleanliness. But kinky, experienced (wise?), and dirty is fun too. So, for me, adding color to life is among the best expressions of authenticity. My favorite color is purple. It always has been. But I don't decorate with purple. I have never painted a wall purple. When I decorate I use autumnal colors. Oranges, reds, browns, greens, yellows.... Those bold colors are my self-expression colors. Purple I save for my thoughts, small gestures, intimacy.
So, today I literally have a blank canvas. Interesting, too, that our lives are blank canvases. How will I best express myself with this blank canvas that I have? I have chosen my colors and my creation method and soon I will get to see what manifests from my intentions and actions. Maybe I will let a speck of purity and innocence show through. Maybe I will not. For me, at least, life is more fun when experienced in color.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Zack & Miri and Their Lessons for a Good Marriage
Dearest Summer & Ty,
You have officially been married 4 days now and WOW! You have survived it thus far. Happily, I assume. Kevin and I really appreciated witnessing your union and being a part of your reception. Thank you for the invite. Also, I appreciate being a witness to the spring-like embrace of fresh love. Before kids, before passion ebbs and flows, before trying to define yourself as a couple then individual then couple again. Before the work of marriage we celebrate the union. And, being married almost 12 years, I now know why a couple has an even bigger celebration if they make it to their Golden Anniversary. The commitment, the allowing, the forgiving, the patience and the joy it takes to get there is worth a party.
If you have seen the movie, you do know that Zack & Miri started as friends. Yet, from the beginning they acted more like a seasoned married couple. There were many important lessons from Zack & Miri that will aid you on the journey of your marriage:
With Respect & Admiration,
Katie & Kevin
(He did not write a word. But I am used to that. I still sign his name on things. See how thoughtful that is?)
You have officially been married 4 days now and WOW! You have survived it thus far. Happily, I assume. Kevin and I really appreciated witnessing your union and being a part of your reception. Thank you for the invite. Also, I appreciate being a witness to the spring-like embrace of fresh love. Before kids, before passion ebbs and flows, before trying to define yourself as a couple then individual then couple again. Before the work of marriage we celebrate the union. And, being married almost 12 years, I now know why a couple has an even bigger celebration if they make it to their Golden Anniversary. The commitment, the allowing, the forgiving, the patience and the joy it takes to get there is worth a party.
If you have seen the movie, you do know that Zack & Miri started as friends. Yet, from the beginning they acted more like a seasoned married couple. There were many important lessons from Zack & Miri that will aid you on the journey of your marriage:
- Laugh at the jokes and the silly choices of your partner.
- Talk openly about what satisfies you in the bedroom. Don't talk to your best friend about it if you haven't talked to your spouse. Best not to blog about it either.
- Tell your woman she looks "pretty f-in' hot" in her dress. Do it!
- Ty, offer to wash Summer's hair, scrub her back, paint her toenails, etc. Take care of your woman.
- Mr. Fix-it is Sexy. So is Mrs. Fix-it.
- Don't listen to the marriage nay-sayers. They are everywhere. But they don't know what you two have. And misery always loves company.
- Be partners - you are on the same team. Run your marriage like a business. You're in the business of LOVE!
- Remember romance rocks! It keeps the relationship fresh and exciting.
- Boys have to have sex. (Summer, this is where you get to take care of Ty.)
- And girls have to talk about emotions.
- Surround yourselves with good friends.
- Dance in the living room.
- Don't expect Ty to understand what you want if you don't tell him, Summer. Boys don't think. Like girls.
- Remember you married someone that you want to grow with. Expect to grow & change and be less like the people you were when you met. And yet, inherently the same.
- Letting grudges go is essential to personal and marital happiness.
- Marriage is an adventure of unknowns, not a commitment of constants.
With Respect & Admiration,
Katie & Kevin
(He did not write a word. But I am used to that. I still sign his name on things. See how thoughtful that is?)
Friday, February 27, 2009
It's All Fun & Games Until There is a Shard of Glass in Your Finger
Life is always fun and games. Giggling. Red balloons that follow you around town. Bluebirds that sing. Deer that allow you to pet them. Gobs of money growing on trees in your backyard. Plenty of perfectly grown food with no additives, chemicals or hormones. A being that loves you NO MATTER WHAT with more love than you can handle in one lifetime - (so guilt, fear and depression are gone). This is my life. This IS your life.
Today my daughter and friend were playing and giggling. It's a nice sound to have in the house. Until CRASH! BANG! something breaks. Then a shriek of terror. An actual glass shard is sticking straight up out of her finger. Mom to the rescue. I pluck it out. No blood. No real injury. BUT THE HORROR! of the perceived injury is enough to make her shout out loud. Giggles quickly turn to cries and life turns 180 degrees on it's axis.
Imagine the people in the plane that went down in the Hudson River. Most probably started the day excited to be going somewhere other than where they were. Or maybe some had already tried that and were now excited to go back from whence they came. Maybe a few were clutching the hands of their loved one's in trepidation - but they didn't really believe anything would happen - did they? Up they go into the air - higher than humans should even bother feeling comfortable - putting their trust in the big hunk of metal and the credentials of the pilot. What they didn't know was that their pilot had some serious credentials. They are blissfully, ignorantly, flying along and some geese choose this day to become Airborne Foie Gras. The day of excitement, or at worst - normalcy, turns into a day of terror and fear in ONE chance meeting. Goose to propeller. Simple as that.
I haven't thought too much about that plane ride. I have praised the pilot and thanked God for lives saved (even though He had little to do with it). I can't really imagine that moment where joy turns to terror. What do you think about? What do you do? I honestly hope that my mind would be thoughtless. And that I could revel in the moment - loving who happens to be in the plane with me, & loving those who don't. Thankful for the opportunity to know how sweet joy is - how amazing life is. Sometimes it takes a shard of glass, a stupid goose, an unrequited love, an illness, an argument, or a long gray winter to appreciate the abundance of light in which we all reside.
Today my daughter and friend were playing and giggling. It's a nice sound to have in the house. Until CRASH! BANG! something breaks. Then a shriek of terror. An actual glass shard is sticking straight up out of her finger. Mom to the rescue. I pluck it out. No blood. No real injury. BUT THE HORROR! of the perceived injury is enough to make her shout out loud. Giggles quickly turn to cries and life turns 180 degrees on it's axis.
Imagine the people in the plane that went down in the Hudson River. Most probably started the day excited to be going somewhere other than where they were. Or maybe some had already tried that and were now excited to go back from whence they came. Maybe a few were clutching the hands of their loved one's in trepidation - but they didn't really believe anything would happen - did they? Up they go into the air - higher than humans should even bother feeling comfortable - putting their trust in the big hunk of metal and the credentials of the pilot. What they didn't know was that their pilot had some serious credentials. They are blissfully, ignorantly, flying along and some geese choose this day to become Airborne Foie Gras. The day of excitement, or at worst - normalcy, turns into a day of terror and fear in ONE chance meeting. Goose to propeller. Simple as that.
I haven't thought too much about that plane ride. I have praised the pilot and thanked God for lives saved (even though He had little to do with it). I can't really imagine that moment where joy turns to terror. What do you think about? What do you do? I honestly hope that my mind would be thoughtless. And that I could revel in the moment - loving who happens to be in the plane with me, & loving those who don't. Thankful for the opportunity to know how sweet joy is - how amazing life is. Sometimes it takes a shard of glass, a stupid goose, an unrequited love, an illness, an argument, or a long gray winter to appreciate the abundance of light in which we all reside.
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